I watched The Last Dance, the Michael Jordan and Chicago Bulls documentary, on Netflix. One of the things that struck me was Dennis Rodman’s psychological makeup and his contrast to Jordan. Knowing Rodman’s history now, I can see the through line and understand what created the powerful need in him to escape into the wild and release pressure periodically. If it happened to be in ways that were optically unfavorable to him, he didn’t care. He needed to shut out the demands to perform so he could recapture a part of him.
Lately I’ve been noticing the Jordan and Rodman inside me. The striver, methodical planner, relentless doer, unquenchable attainer. The one who creates structure and pushes me to keep going. Then there is the independent and stubborn – almost Husky dog like creature – that feels claustrophobic after too many days of heavy structure. It wants to play without agenda. The type of play that doesn’t have a secret goal of coaxing out productivity. It doesn’t want endless sleep or Netflix, it craves exploration; random travel, conversations, art, play, laughter. When it doesn’t get what it needs, it becomes lackluster, glassy eyed, lethargic, and less of who it naturally is. I never let my Rodman-Husky play because the striving Jordan needed to build stability and it feared that the wild and independent one might venture too far from home and never come back to do the work. Probably for the first time in my life, I’m giving the Husky a chance and it’s sniffing the trails to uncover long buried gems. My life feels richer for it.
“Then you will see gardens with secluded rose bowers, and they will all be inside you.” – Rumi
