Working Meditation

Observations on Human Connection & Contribution

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Seeking: Observations related to pursuit of self and purpose

#75: What is attention?

Is it intense pin-pointed focus on something or is it open awareness of the present, regardless of the object?

Does it come and go or is there an attentive part of us always waiting to be called upon?

Does it live in the body, like in the case of professional dancers or athletes? Where, over time, it takes the shape of muscle memory and mental interruptions are the last thing we need. Or does it live in the mind, like that of a scientist or a writer, deep in focus?

Is it in the achievement of the flow-state, where attention just courses through us without any sense of time? Or is it in the attentive preparation and effort that enables the sought-after flow state?

Is it better for attention to be unmediated by technology, like when we stare at the night sky and dream? Or can technology help us see what we couldn’t without, like a telescope that helps us see the contours of the night sky?

Do we create the world with our attention or is what we give attention to defined by the world we live in?

Is attention scarce or do we have enough of it and the struggle is really about where to apply this attention?

Could all of this be true?

“Before our minds create our world, the world creates our minds.” — Gabor Mate,  Hungarian-Canadian physician and author specializing in treatment of addiction

#72: Eyes in your boat

I was at a silent meditation course recently where one commits to noble silence, i.e. silence of the body, speech, and mind. The goal is to cultivate inward attention so you don’t speak, write, read, touch another human or make eye contact for the duration of the course. The days start at 4am and end at 9:30pm alternating between individual sits, group sits, and breaks to eat and move in silence. A gong is sounded to indicate a break. It’s the purest form of silence possible while being in community.

For the individual sits, one can meditate in their room or the meditation hall. Since this was my second time, I knew individual sits in my room made me sleepy or lax. So I pledged to meditate in the hall even for my individual sits. It was the right call–my focus was better and my practice deepened. Not once did I feel the need to get up before the gong was struck. It wasn’t very hard this time; just hard. I did what I could everyday while paying no attention to others, as was the goal. Until the last day when I heard someone getting up and leaving the hall mid-way. Then another person and then another only to realize that I was the only one left. The hall is relatively empty during individual sits as most people prefer to meditate in their rooms. I had a general awareness but until this day, I didn’t pay much attention to when people came and left. Perhaps a part of me was pleased with how well I’d stuck to my intention so I started noting others. This awareness was top of mind in the next sit and in addition to the mental and physical fluctuations, there was a very clear outward focus on others and when they might leave. When they started filtering out, I noted. I also noted my desire to get up and walk out in the sunshine, to stretch my legs and breathe in the fresh air, just like them. Then the course came to an end and I left with the hope to wake up earlier in my everyday life. I thought if I could manage 4am during the course, I could certainly do 5am when back home. I came home to find a husband who had taxing work week so he needed to sleep in. He slept in and so did I, even though my week wasn’t taxing.

Yes, we are social creatures and this natural osmosis gives us the flexibility to thrive and grow with others. But this strength can become a deficit if we’re not careful; especially when we start anchoring our internal commitments to others’ external actions. We may have clarity around what we want to do in our short life, until we see someone else living differntly. A bit here and a bit there and before we know it, our life feels alien.

The phrase “eyes in your boat” helps redirect attention quickly. It’s a pithy directive I first heard while dragonboating and rowing. In both sports, efficient movement requires a team of people to move in complete unison. Any minor distraction and you feel an immediate impact in the next stroke. So you focus on your own stroke while mirroring the motion of the person right in front of you. When your mind wanders to a competing boat, a beautiful bird, or anything else, the coach will instantly nudge you back with this phrase. It has been helpful to me when I get distracted by worry, fear or judgment. It prevents me from sliding on the slippery slope of mindless imitation. Try it. 

“The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is, there’s no ground.”— Chögyam Trungpa: Tibetan Buddhist meditation master

#66: Prototyping the everyday

I haven’t published in two months. I was building other parts of life that left little brainpower to review and edit. Or so I thought.

Over the last year, I saw my writing-voice take shape. But behind the scenes I was observing and getting to know myself through this part that likes to write. I saw how ideas arrive, which ones I select, how I process them, but also what I observe, what I care to write about and how I string together language. I was not only finding my writing-voice, I was finding my voice and wisdom. And because I sought discernment, I wanted to think things through a bit more before I published. I didn’t post last two months because I didn’t have time to think things through to the degree I would have liked.

I also noted that I had pieces at various stages of readiness. Some thoughts were supported only by quick scribbles to help me recall later while others were over 90% written, just needing final edits. Simultaneously, the inflow of observations and thoughts never stopped (I am thankful for this). So a mental traffic jam occurred. On one side, incessant mental downloads knocked on my brain waiting to be unfurled and on the other side half-written notes awaited attention. And there I was crushed in the middle…wanting to publish when my personal standards had been met. This act of turning off the publishing faucet created a creativity backlog so instead of flowing, my words felt like a tangled mess on my Notes app.

I’ve been learning prototyping tools and mindsets over the last couple of weeks. Today I realized that the prototyping mindset applies even to my writing. A prototyping mindset frees startups to experiment in front of potential users without being ashamed of failures and imperfections. The prototype only has one goal: learning. So it’s developed just enough to gain learnings and not an ounce more. Prototypes aren’t meant to be perfect, they are meant to be iterative. Each prototype a fertilizer for the next.  

The act of writing over the last year has been learning in motion for me. I write about this and then about that. An addition here and a deletion there. Sometimes poetic and sometimes prose but always a learning. When I stopped posting, I stopped learning. The desire for better got in the way of doing.

Thinking like a prototyper, I might have published more. Published more imperfect work that would have been enough to get the point across and taught me lessons not only for my writing but also other work and life. This writing isn’t meant to be perfect; it’s meant to teach me something and be of use to others. One prototyped post at a time.

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”― Vincent Van Gogh: Dutch painter

#63: Work as craft

We tend to think of creative work as a craft. Something that requires focus, genuine care, patience and practice, which eventually turn to skill. We respect and prize this level of commitment. Yet most of us likely hesitate from referencing our own work as craft. We may shy away for a litany of valid reasons― seems like a lofty ideal that might attract eye-rolls, others may think we’re posturing, our work environment is so transactional that it laughs in the face of such care, we had this attitude once but circumstances have beaten it out of us, we never got the chance to practice our work like it mattered. Our reasons will come in many flavors and feel relatable to others. We might also note that most of these reasons have an external orientation, where we look to others for definition.

What if, rather than making external proclamations, we change our internal orientation and start thinking of our work as craft regardless of external incentives. What if we defined our work in terms that are personally meaningful to us? Then, what if we commit only to ourselves to show up everyday with that internal rudder?

Would we color outside the expected lines to come up with novel solutions, stick with a hard task despite hurdles, commit to something without needing external nudges? Would we be able to think beyond our self-interest? Would we show up not only with an open mind, and open heart but also an open will*? Essentially, would we do the creative work of inviting in a future we truly want for ourselves and others?

This level of silently powerful presence in our work requires a recurring choice. It’s easier to make this choice after we allow ourselves to see our own work as craft.

P.S.: The idea of job crafting is another practical way to go about shaping our work. Harvard Business Review offers a few pithy articles on this idea. Here are a couple:

*Credit: Otto Scharmer and Theory U

“When you stop downloading, you realize that you actually have a choice — a choice in how you respond to any situation. You can respond by turning away, or by turning toward. Turning away means closing your mind, heart, and will — in other words, acting from ignorance, hate, and fear. Turning toward means opening your mind, heart, and will — acting from curiosity, compassion, and courage. These are the choices we face in any moment: Do we turn away and close down, or do we turn toward and open up, activating the deeper levels of our humanity?” (Read full text here) ― Otto Scharmer, Senior Lecturer, MIT Sloan School of Management and co-founder of the Presencing Institute. 

#38: Karma Yoga in times of likes, shares, and comments

The Bhagavad Gita defines yoga as skill in action, or discernment. Yoga isn’t just the posture we take on the mat, it’s the posture we take in life. The Gita goes on further to define a game-changing concept called Karma Yoga or the yoga of selfless action.  It’s not just philosophy, it’s philosophy in action. It asks us to participate in life actively without getting attached to the outcome of our actions. 

Imagine tapping into that deep well of creative force within. Where experiences, skills and dreams collide to put this seed of creation within us; that fear-free source that enables us to build whatever it is we want to build in life. So imagine that you tap into this very personal creative force within you, and then you start working towards your goal and in the process also battle fears and noises within. Then you start sharing some of your ideas and work with the world, and perhaps people start liking, sharing, commenting. You get 20 likes on this idea, 500 on that. You start thinking…maybe I should have posted a picture to get more likes and shares. Maybe I should tone it down because the audience isn’t ready to hear my deepest ideas. Maybe saying that will make me un-hireable in the future. The work hasn’t even really begun and our brains get hijacked by thoughts of how this or that is landing with our audience. We inadvertently start training ourselves to crave attention, creating this neediness that insidiously starts defining our self worth, creating attachment to every minor outcome in the process.

There’s nothing wrong with us. We are inherently relational and designed to care but what if instead of seeking likes, shares, comments and constant validation:
1. We kept bringing attention back to the original work we set out to do? And what if we repeatedly brought with us the heat of self-discipline? This combination of attention and self-discipline helps build courage to turn down the incessant internal chatter that says we’re not good enough. Showing up to do the work makes it so that we don’t get off-roaded so easily by the highs and lows of likes, comments and shares. Yoga calls this self-discipline Tapas.
2. We allocated time consistently for contemplation to separate the fear from focus? To understand the fluctuations of our mind and become more aware of things that integrate us with ourselves and our highest potential. Yoga calls this self-study Svadhyaya.
3. We did our work and then let it go, attaching the fruit of our labor to something larger than our self-interest? We cultivate a trust that we did our best and then release the work into the world with as much neutrality as we can muster; offering our actions to humanity. Yoga calls this act of devotion and dedication Ishvar Pranidhana.

These aren’t principles designed to create a joyless and overly ascetic life. On the contrary, practicing these allows us to tap into that powerful well of creativity and joy without asking for perfection in action. They teach us to show up fully at the right moment to give our all and then detach with love so we can keep on creating, actioning, living fully and powerfully. Self-discipline, self-study, and devotion (or Tapas, Svadhyaya and Ishvar Pranidhana) are a subset of personal observances that, when combined, form the foundation of Karma Yoga. And this yoga of self-less action helps us align powerfully to meaningful action, which by the way every faith speaks to.

We don’t do the work for likes, shares and comments. We do the work because we seek to make a change and a contribution. Let’s focus on our contributions instead. Our own unique rendition of Karma Yoga.

“If the Final Hour comes while you have a shoot of a plant in your hands and it is possible to plant it before the Hour comes, you should plant it.” ― Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)

Hi friends, I’m taking a brief pause and will post again on June 21. See you soon!