I lived in very sunny Miami for eight years. Not once did I fear the onset of winter or worry about endless overcast days. Because it was always sunny, I also don’t recall ever rushing outside to feel the sun on my skin. I had plenty of time and opportunity to enjoy the warm sun and water and I certainly let a whole lot of it slip; I didn’t grasp the bounty that was being offered to me. Then I moved to Seattle and realized how good sun could feel. The overcast winter makes it so that when sun does arrive, I instinctively pause to feel its warmth on my skin. I don’t have to try very hard, it just happens. And not only to me, to everyone I know. We all rush out on vibrant days to inhale the bounty of life that strengthens our bones and hearts. I have never adored sun like I do when in Seattle.
The same can be said for life. We often don’t realize the unbelievable bounty that is life until we come face to face with its slippage. The hard knock of loss of a love that irreversibly changes our lens and we notice that we’ve started hungrily absorbing the contours of those we love, fully realizing how precious every moment with them is. Or the drastic change in health that reminds us to savor the mobility and ease of painless days.
Really, how else would we grasp life’s value? How can we know we have abundance when we haven’t encountered lack, or fully appreciate our physical vibrance when we haven’t experienced ill-health. We come cloaked in this body―breath, bones, tissue, dreams―and the main job of our early years is to get comfortable being in it. We’re surrounded by faces we think will always be by our side. Acts of survival demand us to embrace rhythms and over time, without ever knowing, we get completely absorbed in them. A part of me sometimes craves that mirage of stability; this seemingly “normal” life before the veil was lifted. But over time I have also come to see loss as life’s amnesia-busting tool. On better days when the dust of grief is more settled, we might see that our seemingly ordinary lives are cosmic jackpots! That a very specific confluence of factors in time and space led to us being born in this body, with these people, with these experiences, skills, hopes and dreams. It’s immaterial whether we believe our presence to be due to divine ordinance or an atomic fluke. The fact that we are here as we are feels precious if we allow ourselves the space to really sink into the reality of our limited runway on earth and the mindboggling potential this presents.
Impermanence creates a powerful womb for intentional action. Only when we hear the echo of the ticking clock do we gain resolve to stand up. Only when we understand that the runway is limited do we muster enough courage to take off.
“You know what happens when you dream of falling? Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” ― Neil Gaiman
