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Observations on Human Connection & Contribution

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Feeling: Observations related to feelings

#28: A place called home

This post lists resources to help India during the catastrophic Covid-19 surge

We all come from somewhere.

A place. That ground that we learned to crawl, fall, stand and eventually run on. The smells, tastes, sounds and textures that gave us nourishment and language. The stability of people, roots and a value system that helped us soar. These set of things called culture, that entered our lungs and bloodstream to bolster us from within. We come from this amalgam of place, people and culture called home. It becomes a touchstone over the years that we repeatedly return to whenever we are unsteady or injured. Like the tender hug and fierce protection of a mother. No matter how far we fly, we stay tethered to that bond of love and when that ground shakes, we shake with it. India is that for me. It will always be in my tissues no matter how long and far I live. And now, my motherland is shaking. That ground is shaking, knocking over what I love and my heart with it. And I feel the seismic waves of trauma, fear and helplessness this far. Over the course of my lifetime, I hope to tend to many people and places but―as its descendant―the pain of this land and the responsibility to tend to it is my right and honor. We simply belong to each other.

We all come from somewhere. You too have a home, and you may be called to tend to its pain one day. This is as it should be. If we buffer ourselves to the pain of home, we buffer ourselves to one another and thereby humanity. By embracing the hardest of our pains, we increase our capacity for empathy and resilience. Tending to our own grief creates capacity to contain another’s grief. Tending to our own pain tunes us into another’s as they tend to theirs.  This is precisely why humanity is such a powerful collective: our individual bodies weren’t designed to contain all the trauma in the world as digital media now asks us to do. If we truly absorbed all the pain thrown at us on a daily basis, we couldn’t function. Each of us is called to the frontlines at a different time and our job is to show up with grace and strength when called, and serve a backstop for others when it’s their turn to step up. Each of us are designed to tend to specific places and causes so the whole world can be enveloped with the care it needs.

You will be called to the frontlines one day. Please tend wholeheartedly to what you call home. The place, people and culture that nourished you to give you a ground to stand on and a sky to soar in. Be there when it needs you, however you can. And that day the rest of us will be there to hold you.

“Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you have no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain.”  ― Sa’adi Shirazi

Sopa Images/Lightrocket via Getty Images

Below is a list of verified accounts to help India during the catastrophic Covid-19 surge. Every drop counts. Thank you!
Note: Some employers may offer a contribution match.

  1. Harvard Business School Alumni – Dr. Sahil Gupta, my friend and HBS alumni, has worked in the Indian healthcare sector for over a decade. He is using his personal resources to purchase oxygen concentrators so those in need can borrow at no cost. He has also assembled a team of doctors to advise patients on home treatment and hospitalization. 
  2. Mission Oxygen
  3. Hemkunt Foundation
  4. Goonj
  5. Milaap (various efforts) – Relief fund for daily wagers, help for healthcare professionals  
  6. Help Now (ambulance services) 
  7. MCKS Food and Hygiene Kits – https://mcksfood.com/covid19 ; https://mcksfood.com/donate
  8. Dharma Bharati Mission
  9. Help India Breathe
  10. Go Fund Me, verified accounts
  11. Give India – various projects – https://covid.giveindia.org/; Project started by South Asian Students in the US; Plasma matching
  12. Seva Kitchen
  13. UNICEF
  14. PATH
  15. The International Medical Corps
  16. Care
  17. AmeriCares India
  18. Indian Red Cross
  19. Oxfam
  20. Save the Children

News articles to help grasp how devastating this crisis is:

#26: Fixing the gaze while staying tuned-in

In the last post, I thought aloud why innovations often come hand-in-hand with unintended consequences. For the creators, it may feel overwhelming to tend to additional things when one is already struggling to create meaningful momentum in early-stage work. We might be able to take inspiration from standing balance poses in yoga.

Yoga teachers often invite students to fix their gaze on a single steady point while doing any pose that requires balancing on one leg. Doing this often stabilizes the body instantly. While fixing the gaze allows us to gain stability in difficult poses, we are also reminded to stay tuned in to the rest of the body.  Even while the gaze is fixed, we are nudged to keep a micro-bend in the standing knee, tone the muscles of the leg as if they are hugging the bones, and not jut the pelvis to the side so there is symmetry.  The macro goal for all physical postures (asanas) is to cultivate a sense of nonviolence (ahimsa) in body and mind. We are offered a vision for the pose and its benefits, but then we progress intentionally at our individual pace to ensure there is stability and ease at every step of the progression. Since the goal is to create no harm in the process of that progression, we stop to make adjustments at the first hint of pain.

What would it look like in business if we were to hold the steady gaze of ambition while also staying tuned-in to the downstream impact of that ambition; essentially zooming-in to seek the goal and zooming-out to feel the outcome simultaneously?

Customer feedback loops (where we tap into ideally a diverse customer set to get real-world pulse checks), are already a part of modern business ethos. How can we take this further to gather the uncomfortable feedback around the unforeseen negative effects of our work? Could we get comfortable creating pauses in our workflow to retract and recreate our steps vs. blindly blazing through milestones? It’s possible; but perhaps a different way of structuring the work, the organization and expectations.

Business, like standing poses, is an example of complex and compound movement and focusing the gaze of ambition while staying tuned-in to impact may create strength, stability and ease as we scale and grow. 

“We can’t impose our will on a system. We can listen to what the system tells us, and discover how its properties and our values can work together to bring forth something much better than could ever be produced by our will alone.” ― Donella H. Meadows

#19: Community under our noses, part 3

About 20 minutes after my encounter with Rigdzin, I found myself peering into a storefront named Greenwood Pencil Box. It’s a place that fuels courage and creative expression in youth through two complementary organizations that share this space: The Beaureu of Fearless Ideas or BFI, and Sanctuary Art Center. I value these ideas and have an imaginative poster from BFI that I glance at when I need a dose of moxie.

So when I saw this space in the process of being reimagined, I couldn’t resist and literally had my nose to the window when Chris and Troy (from the above mentioned organizations respectively) opened the door after-hours to invite me in. We chatted briefly about their organizations and the impact they want to have in the community and, once again, I was touched by the kindness, integrity and care of my fellow humans. I felt thankful that such people existed in the world.

The more I’ve reflected since, the more I realize that these people exist everywhere. Not just in special corners of the globe where conditions for human flourishing are just right. They are peppered everywhere. Being a piece of the everyday divine. Bolstering others in as many ways as there are humans. I didn’t jump through hoops to find them; I just walked down my main street and stepped into their world, ready to engage and there they were.

I also realized that they are not peppered everywhere―we are peppered everywhere. You, me, everyone. We can step into the world, ready to engage.

“The simple act of showing up and connecting with another’s humanity can help a person rekindle hope in ways they might not otherwise have dreamed of doing.” ― Jacqueline Novogratz

#18: Community under our noses, part 2

I wanted a break. While much needed to be done, I felt tired from the mental lift of work. It was a sunny afternoon so I allowed myself a rare reprieve and left my desk a bit early to walk our neighborhood’s main street.

Because of my timing some daytime stores were still open, including one that sells Tibetan items. I had bought a humble-looking  but unbelievably resonant singing bowl at this spot years ago. None of the other ornate looking bowls I’ve encountered since come close to its vibrancy. This relationship with my bowl pulled me into Pema Kharpo where I heard the owner, Rigdzin, speaking with another visitor. Rigdzin sounded humble, vibrant, lighthearted and wise and I got pulled into the conversation towards the end of this dialogue. We exchanged our geographical past and I realized that he had lived all over India including New Delhi, my hometown, for ten years. I switched to Hindi for the rest of our conversation to feel the warmth of the first syllables I ever heard. He gave me a few items, prayed over me like I was family and sent me away with so much love and care that I felt an invisible thread bonding us. So here I am, unexpectedly absorbing practical wisdom from a man who appeared to be an everyday incarnation of the divine.

7,000 miles and 0.7 miles away from home and still right at home. Held, hugged and bolstered.

“The greatest gift we can give to others is our true presence” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

#17: Community under our noses, part 1

Human beings are fundamentally relational. This is probably why the moral landmines we are repeatedly warned against across faiths―envy, greed, anger―are relational. Relationships are ever present and, when life gets busy, the first to be ignored connective tissue of our lives.

The good news is that we are wired for connection and instinctively know how to bond with another. All we need is a warm heart and an easeful mind. Over-gamification isn’t necessary! Yes, I am aware that warmth and ease seem like scant features in our hyperextended modern life. But I also know that they are embedded in us and come out to play when we feel safe.

So try this experiment: when you next crave a sense of community, start from right under your nose…literally. Build up that fire in your heart, look up and then share that warmth with someone you naturally feel easeful around.

“As once the winged energy of delight
carried you over childhood’s dark abysses,
now beyond your own life build the great
arch of unimagined bridges.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke