There’s a certain FOMO-driven hyperactivity that permeates all culture, not just social media. Any generative activity we’d like to engage in—exercise, mindfulness, creativity, reading, cooking—comes with several worthy alternatives. So that when you want to go deep in a specific practice, you are tugged at by well-meaning ideas, people and society that nudge you to try that over this. And full disclaimer: I have been that person tugging at loved ones to try something without first gaining a better view of their lives. The irony is that we don’t regenerate ourselves through hyperactivity, by constantly jumping from one practice to the next, one teacher to the next, one task to the next. Progress requires picking up a practice we’re genuinely drawn to and sticking with it regardless of the Gollum-like whispers of our resistance that urge us to drop this and seek the next because “that’s where the nectar is”.
When I started working on this blog, my Gollum kept telling me that I was wasting time doing something that wasn’t my main vocation. Every time I faced turbulence, it told me that this work was optional and that I should pause and switch gears to the work that could pay for a roof over my head. Mindfulness practices helped me see these thoughts for the topsoil they were and told me to keep digging, to get to the immensely gratifying substratum. I ran into many challenges—how do I even begin to share my improbable journey in the about-section, how do I fix the wonky header image or the broken fonts. I sought just enough information to blow past the rocky bits, resisting the urge to try and become “an expert” before I published anything. If I kept flitting from one task to another, exiting what was in front of me for the pursuit of seeming productivity, you wouldn’t be reading this.
There is far too much to experience and do in the world in our short lifetimes. Rather than chasing an ever-growing list, it’s more satisfying to show up for the things our deep heart asks us to commit to. It’s also a good idea to become familiar with our personal fear-Gollum, because when he inevitably shows up with his manic whispers on our uncharted path, we have to neutralize him by giving his frail body a tender hug and then lift it aside so we can walk past him to pursue the things that regenerate us.
“Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?” ― Pema Chodron
